What To Do When Things Get Hard

Humans are complex, and so it’s inevitable that, while we are building relationships with one another, there will be moments that get hard, or where harm is done. This module will explore how to navigate that- what can you do in a conversation where someone says something harmful? How do we address that harm while still creating a sense of belonging for everyone in the room?

Video

Activity

• Think back to a time that a conversation you were part of went awry. What happened? (write out the story)
• Now, considering the following steps, write out how you might have interrupted the conversation you mentioned above:
  • Name what came up for you.
  • Name why it was harmful.
  • Offer a shift as a way forward.
  • Reflect: What feels doable about these steps? What feels complicated.
• Extra challenge: Relationships are a long game, so just because you might not have addressed something in a moment doesn’t mean you can’t address it at all. As an added challenge, try returning to the people who were part of the conversation you just wrote about, and let them know that it’s lingering with you, and you want to share that with them.

Share what you learned with weavers

Test your knowledge

Which of the following is not part of a good process for interrupting harm in a conversation?

1. Stop the person who is talking and tell them how you feel in the moment

2. Don’t assume the person meant harm

3. Put the person the the defensive so you can argue your side

4. Offer a way forward with language you would suggest using in the conversation

Submit